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Miss Pandora

Age. 39
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Asian
Location Adelaide, Hong Kong
School. Other
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the Mercy eat
Thursday. 3.20.08 9:34 am
There is one thing that I don't understand for ages, why eating animals are being cruel, but eating plants are being merciful, since they are both lives?

First I have to state true that I'm a vegetarian, it is my taste so I'd not say I am mercy or compassion or whatsoever because I eat only vegetables, and I admit I'm killing the plant's life whilst I eat it in its growing day as I want to eat fresh. And I just don't understand why some vegetarians claim others will receive retribution or bad karma, becasue they kill and dishonour lives by eating meat (and their attitudes make me feel like they are looking forward to the retribution to come, I hope I was wrong though). Well, personally, I regrad this is more about attitude than what you eat, that is your attitude to the life that eaten by you.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make things difficult, I just don't understand this since I was little, and I have actually make up several reasons for these people to explain themselves (only if they couldn't make up their own reasons).

Well, here you are ...

- plants have a lower quality life, they born for human to eat, and they are willing to be eaten ...
- plants have no blood, mean they won't feel pain, so this is the meaning mercy ...
- plants won't shout, mean they have no feeling, so it is okay to eat ...
- plants won't move, so in human's understanding, they are not resisted to be eat ...
- human not yet to know how to communicate with plants, as they have no way to know what plants think, it is okay to eat ...
- since we have PETA, but not yet to have PETP (People for the Ethical Treatment of Plants), so no one cares what you do to the plants ...
- human are big liars, and will make up whatever reasons to support themselves ...

Am I thinking too much?? Perhaps, but have you ever ask the plants, "do you want to be eaten by me?" I honestly believe they'll be scare when you putting them into your wide opened mouth, or crop them up with your sharp knife, becasue I'll be scare if I were them.

When I first time heard people said eating meat will bring you retribution or bad karma, I was very very little, and I think this is so unfair, since plants and animals are both lives, why I have to be punished becasue I like the taste of meat!!!!! What is the theory?! So I start to think what human can eat by not killing any kind of lives, and I couldn't think of any but mud!!! And that was becasue I not yet learn there is microorganism living in the soil, so later I think if human want to live mercifully, we would have to mantain our life by only breathing, as there is not yet evident show breathing will terminate any kind of life. However, if this is true, I don't know how to explain the awkward digestive system that everyone have.

I really don't know!!!!!

And you know what, many occultists/spiritualists suggest us to communicate with the food before you eat, if that was a biscuit, then ask rather the biscuit want to be eaten by you, will it honour your body, and if you receive an answer - YES, then thanks it for giving its life. I'm trying my best to do it, it is not something hard to do, but I always forgot when I am hungry, just now I ate a biscuit when I'm writing this blog, and I forgot to ask that poor little biscuit. So I'm going to ask the next biscuit, and I have to stop here.

It may sounds silly, but why not honour every food and life that you eat, as they benefit your body.

love and light,

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I like summer but not flies, please get away from me
Wednesday. 10.17.07 11:17 pm
I missed the 9am tutorial, so I wake up at 2pm. I don't want to blame the weather, but I feel so tired these few days, tired as I had frought with 10 people (don't get me wrong, I am not sleepwalking), and these kind of tiredness always happen in hot day. Last week was hot, but the weather turned down at night; so I wear like summer in the afternoon, and wear like winter at night. This week, I feel warm at night time, so I guess summer has already come.

I practice flute after lunch (that was actually 4pm), I had to turn on the air-con, as I don't want the flies come in. The flies are so huge this year, so I couldn't be 100% sure they are flies, but I still call them flies to make it easier, and as they have the same annoying sounds.

Last week when I was taking photos at Terrance River, a fly stay on my shirt, I was scared by its size when I looked at it, it looks so long and slim. When there is another one came in my room this afternoon, I spend some times to look at it, there was a minute that I thought it was a bee (can't accept flies in this size). I am so scare of their size and sounds, so I talked to it, and asked it to leave my room. It went close to the window for a few times, and stay on the wall, or went back in, so each time it went close to the window, I said "yea, that is, go straight forward ... blah ... blah ... blah ..." and it did!! Oh, guess I can talk to animal (I know flies are insects, I passed biology in high school) without learning "Animal Communication".

I quickly closed the window and switch on air-con, why there are so many flies in Australia? Can anyone answer this question?

I practiced voice with the technical cd at this evening, find really hard to follow the cd (normally the music follows me when I sing). And I hope I didn't scare people when I sing, becasue I haven't practice for a few years (I did sing in Karaoke, but no one sing art song there, right?), and my muscles need some times to warm up.

And, you know what?
I keep thinking of the song "greatest love of all" recently (does everyone know this song? Hope we are in the same generation!!!!!), especially this phase:
"I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I lived as I believe"

Perhaps this is what my heart sings: be brave, you are walking on your own path, don't even care what other people say on you, as they can't hurt you.

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Personal strengths
Tuesday. 10.16.07 11:59 pm
too-late-to-sleep-but-need-to-wake-up-at-7:30am-again mode

Although haven't update blog for long, I have a written journal to record my thoughs and experience. This journal helps me a lot, as I can clear mind by writing all out. However, I hardly write it everynight, as I always forget or too tired to write (so all thoughs keep running in my mind badly), there were countless times that I made decision to write it regularly but failed to do. Anyway, this is to introduce my written journal.

I remember of my journal last night when I was meditating, because there was something I want to write down. As I usually meditate before sleep, so I was too lazy to get off bed and switch on light to write. What I want to write is I pick up my flute again, and have lots of practice these few days, feeling so good! I almost forgot how to play as I am too busy on study and leave it for long, so I always need to look up the 'fingerring' for some notes.

Indeed, I did pick up the flute a few times before, but I feel so bad that I couldn't even play a song fluently, then I put it down. So this time I decided to practice scales instead of songs to make my memory comes back. Eventually, I find I need to pay more attention to middle C and D notes, and E Major scale, as well as the tone colour, some notes are a bit windy and not bright enough.

I want to work on voice too, as I can't play piano and don't have an accompanist here, I tried to find some scores with Cds, but they are too expensive. Then I remember that I have a technical Cd, perhaps I can sing with it to warm up my voice and practice all the skill works first.

I saw an annocement on MyUni about the media placement session on this thursday, I remember that I saw that annocement early this week, but I only realised it is related to the placement tonight, it is so weird! So I check up Faculty website, and find the new information for 2008, and find out this is a compulsory session for the placement, thank Goddess and God, I didn't miss it.

According to the information sheet, there is an interview enrollment at Thursday week, and we have to research the field and the organisations that we want to approach, that means I have one more week to research.

I really don't know which field that I want to work at the media industry.
I find Public Relations is interesting, but there is one major problem - I don't have good English, and this is the main requirement for this field. I really want to gain some years of experience in PR, because it is a challenging work, but how could I solve the English problem? I wish I can write perfect English from tomorrow morning I wake, if it is possible.

What other field that I interested to work?
I guess I am able to work in multimedia, but I always think my designs are too childish. I wish I am more artistic, and create some abstract and beautiful art works, just like my friend Jane, her works are so pretty and meaningful.

Why I couldn't find something I really strong at? Perhaps I should list out my personal strengths and see which field I should be in.
1. Optimistic
2. Confidence
3. Sensitive
4. Open-mind
5. Active
6. Creative
7. Organise
8. Enthusiastic
9. Artistic
10. Generous
11. (learning to be) Patient
12. (learning to be) Non-judgemental
13. Vegetarian
14. Good-looking
15. (was a) Vocalist
16. Psychic
17. Spiritual (Don't need to tell me HR will not consider 11-17, I am not completely idiot, but they make my list longer, so I don't feel so badly.)

Finally, I still don't know which field I should work in media.
Why so many people know what they want to do before enter university or in their university years, but I don't know? Last week in psychic lesson, my teacher channelled to Osiris to transmit divine messages and for us to ask question. I ask "in my life, I have been interested to so many different things, but I don't know what I really want. Can you tell me what is the purpose of my life and what I should focus on?"

"I have too many interests but not strong at one single thing."
This is what I truly feel for my life. There are too many things that I interested to learn, want to know, desire to understand, and there were countless courses that I've ever attented. I am a fast learner, but it doesn't brings me any advantage. I always pick up new skills easily than other people, but I improve slowly. I work hard and try hard but my slow improvement has disappointed many people. It seems everyone can do better than me and I am strong at nothing, this make me feel dejected. So I always hope to find where my talent lies, so I can focus on, and get rid of this routine.

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End of September
Sunday. 9.30.07 11:16 pm
I don't realised it is end of Sep.

Sis reminded me mum's birthday is 2nd October through msn, I remember when it is, but don't realised it is day after.

Perhaps this is kind of psychology-avoid to school, as there are lots of work waiting for me to complete. I just now figured out the research topic for contempary Japanese, but I have no idea for media project. What kind of project that I can do in less than four weeks? I might able to do a PR campaign if I have more time to research and perpare, and I don't want to work on website or flash since it takes time and energy. And it is sure I don't have time to take a video.

I should make decision in this few days, anyway!

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my non-vegetarian meal
Saturday. 9.22.07 4:04 pm
I had lunch in a Japanese cuisine with April.

At the restaurant call Wasai and former known as Genki. We were orginally planned to go SuMo, but it wasn't work at saturday afternoon. I had eel don as they don't provide vegetarian meal, and we shared a seawee salad. I got little stomach-ache, as the eel took the whole day to digest.

It was a hot afternoon and there was no cloud on the sky, although it is only september, I feel like summer has been arrived.

I have to eat some light food from today, because I ate too much heavy food during essay writing. I found I have quite serious of food craving when under stress, I can't help to eat cheese, chips or other food when I am frigue out my thoughts or brainstorming. I don't need the food physically, but they make me feel good psycholoically.

And I need to leave this craving.

I probably need to change my study style for leaving this craving. I admit writing at night is more easy, but it is not healthy alongwith the craving. I think I'm able to write in day time too, just need to try harder.

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Automatic writing
Thursday. 9.13.07 12:02 am
My last psychic class tonight, and we did automatic writing to get message from our higher self.

This is what my higher self said to me:

"You are loved.
Your job to send love around, to everyone you know, go to enlarge your social circle, be open to the world.

"Go to do some 'silly things', don't need to care what people think of you, or say on you, becasue they can't hurt you.

"You need more exercise, you need more movement, you are an active soul, and you are limited yourself if you keep yourself alone, or staying in one place.

"Don't worry your finances, everything will be fine, and there is nothing for you to worry. Every soul are provided what they need for their mission, and worry will cling you remain unchange, remain the current state, resist your progress.

"Trust your feeling, always trust your feeling. Don't just trust what you like to listen or what you think right to listen, but all of your feelings, because they are the feelings of you."

I had some time left during the session, so I also did a channelling to Archangel Michael and Gabriel, and my Guardian angels.

"Love is all around.

"To feel love, you'll first need to connect to the environment, to what you called natural. Don't stay on the top of tower but say you want love, it is you don't give chance to yourself to taste love.

"Don't Complain!!!

"I am Archangel Michael."


"The most effective way to communicate to yourself is to love yourself, both your good and not-so-good side. To know what you need, but not what you desire.

"I amd Archangel Gabriel."


"I am your guardian angel, call upon me when you need my support. I am always be with you, don't worry if you don't feel my present. Worry is your ego-self trying to cut off the connection between you and me. However, there is no real-existance can cut off the connection between you and me."

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