I am going to move house tommorow.
Move to Strathfield with karen.

Karen feel loss for leaving Tiara, and want to take photos when all the lights on at night time. However, I don't have any feeling for leaving this place, even I had lived here for a year. As far as I remember, this is the sixth times for me to move house in Sydney. I don't like to move house, but there were always some reasons for me to move.

I lack of sense of security, I have deep worry for living with people. It is not about communication, but I worry that they'll need to move out in sudden, and I need to support the rent or move out in hurry. I know we can make agreement before lived together, but there are so many 'surprise' with us, overseas students. Hence, living by myself will be easy, I can take control to everything. When I was lived in my second homestay, we had some arguement and I need to move out in a rush. I really hate this. Hence, when I lived in my third homestay or in hostel, I kept most of my stuffs in suitcase, so I can go away easily. Deep down in my heart, I need a place to settle down, so I can take out things from my suitcase, and place around my home without worries or fears. I want to control the situation, but not controlled by the situation.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I went to the Park at Surry Hills about 6pm, it is the one beside the catholic church. I play apyramid-shape rope net at the park, which I want to play long time ago. I told myself to climb up each time I passed by, but I didn't. So, I reckon this is the last chance for me to play around, as I couldn't see any playground in Strathfield.

I remembered that I play a similar one when I was young, which was located at the playground closed to Grandma's old apartment. I seldom see lots of children in playgroud nowadays, perhaps children don't like swing, but computer game. However, when I was little, in the 80s, many children play in playground. I always want to climb up to the top of the rope net, but that was occupied by other boys, and I'd wait, and wait for long time.

I never see anyone play this rope net, I think it has been lonely for many year, since children grow up, and not hang around in playground. Surry Hills is an 'old society'. I was a bit scared to climb to the top, isn't this ironic? Whilst I can occupied the whole rope net finally, I was not brave to climb. Is it what people said "do the right things in the right time"? It is not my time to play children game. I stayed at the middle for a whilst, feeling so good as above the ground, so I think I can stay for a little bit longer.

An old man walked toward me, I guess he wanted to talk to me, and he was. He encouraged me to climb up, but I said "no, this is the right position for me." And he encouraged me said "if you think you can't do it, you will never do it." He started to teach me how to climb up, and I did it. I climbed up to the top.

Later, when I back home, I told myself, perhaps I let too many people disappointed throughout my life, and I didn't want to disappoint a stranger. I am longing to go to the top, but I worried I am not able to do; staying in the middle is saft, it won't hurt even I fall.

We talked after I reached the ground, he was surprised to know my name, said this was his first time and perhaps the only time to hear a girl called Pandora. We talked about studies, travels, weather, living conditions, soecities, etc. Then he went home for dinner, and I walked back home too.

Categories: Once upon a time [t]

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